The Effective Communication Method: 9 Keys to Mastering Skills, A Comprehensive Guide to Step-by-Step Improvement for Building Successful Relationships by Brian Basterfield

Author:Brian Basterfield [Basterfield, Brian]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: www.365selfgrowth.com
Published: 2023-03-04T00:00:00+00:00

TYPES OF UNSUPPORTIVE LANGUAGE

Sarcasm:

Sarcasm uses mockery to convey a message of contempt. The chosen words are meant to cut or sting the other person. It intentionally inflicts pain by ridiculing, taunting, or deriding the other person. Many people tend to hide behind such language calling it sharp wit, but it is cutting words meant to make the other person feel small.

Labeling:

Labeling language is meant to put others in a box and shame them into feeling inferior, either due to their history or decisions. You rely on information about the other person to label them negatively, which diminishes their abilities and capabilities.

Judgmental messages:

This is passing judgement on another person based on the very limited information that you may have. For example, you may refuse an employee a raise because they were late a few times, and you quickly judge them for their late coming without knowing the reason why. Maybe they have a long commute, no car to get to work, or a child to care for before heading to work.

In a meeting, you may single them out with phrases like “here comes the perpetual latecomer,” which influences other employees, causing them to look at this particular employee in poor judgement. They may treat this employee poorly because of your judgmental message.

Threats:

Threats are unsupportive messages that make the other person feel unsafe and unwanted. To use threats means to use insulting and aggressive language, which tells the other person that you do not have their best interests at heart and don’t care about their wellbeing.

Negative comparisons:

You do not typically use supportive language when you compare people negatively to others. For example, you tell your child, “Look at the smart decisions your sister makes, and why can’t you be more like her?” You are breaking down the child’s sense of self-confidence and worth, so they feel like just being themselves is not enough; they have to be like someone else to be enough.

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